Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
