i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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