just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
