Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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