do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
