Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
