dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
