are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize