If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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