I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
