Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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