Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
