Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
