We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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