So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
