dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
where are my eyebrows?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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