I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
