she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he was CRYING into my vagina
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
