Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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