garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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