I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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