Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
