I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
