So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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