guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
