I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
