Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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