pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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