States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
