can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize