there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
