Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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