Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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