That's intense
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
