you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
