I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
