Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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