Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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