1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
