She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
