I CAN MOONWALK!
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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