i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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