I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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