I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
