i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
