East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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