So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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