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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  u downloaded tardy 4 the party

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants

  (812): View more from Indiana

  That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?

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• (268): View more from Antigua/Barbuda-Carib

  One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud

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