I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
