After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
