So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i think i have two assholes
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
