I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
