But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
