isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
