My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
