Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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