My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
