You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize