i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
