Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
