my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
