I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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