Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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