Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
