Porn is love you can see.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
