I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
