I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
