Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
