i think my mom watched the whole time
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm bleeding and have questions
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
