I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
