Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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