But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It's never too late to be topless.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
