i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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