so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
