it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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