please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
