I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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