I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i believe in u and ur pee
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
