I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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