take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
